It’s every parent’s worst nightmare to hear that your newborn baby might only live for a matter of minutes. They say there’s nothing like a mother’s love. The bond between an unborn child and a mother and father is unbreakable.
Listening to an ultrasound and feeling your baby kicking are memorable experiences before your bundle of joy arrives. The very first thing that happens when you have a baby is your heart will grow two fold the moment the very first instant you lay eyes on that baby, the first time they lay your baby in your arms, you’ll feel an unbelievable bond of love and protection that can’t be described.
Children give your life meaning and more laughs and joy than you can imagine. You’ll be their hero. A baby’s brain is hard wired to be more accepted to the nearest female voice and specifically her or his mother’s to the baby. The mother’s voice alone has several tones clarifying authority, common tenderness, common protection, interest paid interest meaning the tone that makes it easier as to learn something new. It’s possible for a baby to attach to another woman in the household.
Bonding or reinforcement of the bond is done through nursing. It’s a complete surprise and something you didn’t expect to occur. You take one look and you’re madly in love with this little helpless creature. You’re filled with emotions that tell you you die in its place or killed or protected. This tiny bundle of your very own little gift from God above and the universe has bequeathed you with a little piece of heaven.
This child was made to be loved. It’ll give you love and bring you joy. Accept it into your open arms and life and the blessings for which it is a baby’s. Parents were told he would live for minutes or maybe just seconds after he was taken off life support, but he amazed everyone by opening his eyes for the first time. When Oscar Bedford was born, he was lifeless and blue and despite every effort the doctors made, there was no signs of bringing him back to life.
Removed from his incubator, he was handed to his parents, Greg and Chelsea, who took him to a special room at Leicester Royal Infirmary for bereaved parents to say their goodbyes. Chelsea Thurman is taking legal action against the hospital. She claims it admitted her to that mistakes were made. A first time mother claims her son has been left brain damaged with a life limiting condition due to a hospital blunder during his birth. After baby Oscar Bedford was born blue and unresponsive, Chelsea Thurman and her partner, Greg Bedford, said goodbye to him and switched off his life support after doctors told them that he was brain dead.
The infant, however, opened his eyes and survived, but he’s been left registered blind and suffering with aggressive epileptic fits, sometimes up to 400 per day, which Chelsea fears will kill him. She believes her child suffered a brain injury when he was deprived of oxygen due to a midwife not allowing her to push.
She also alleges that after her baby went into distress, there was a delay of 32 minutes in pulling him out when the midwife allowed a student nurse to attempt cutting her. She claims that in a meeting the hospital admitted mistakes were made and told her that an emergency Csection should have been considered when complications began. Chelsea, who is now taking legal action against University Hospitals of Leicester NHS Trust, said, I had a textbook pregnancy and I know as far as I’m concerned my baby was brain damaged because I didn’t receive the right care.
Chelsea, 26, from Leicester, went into labor in the early hours of the 5 May last year and said initially her dilation was progressing slowly. But she says the second stage came on quickly and feels her midwife didn’t listen to her. We’d struggled with the epidural for a couple of hours. I told them I still had feeling down below and was in pain despite having a top up. I was dilated at about 6 CM after about 13 hours of labor.
Then I really felt the need to push. The midwife told me she wasn’t due to check me for another 90 minutes and told me to stop using the gas and air that I was being silly. This went on for around an hour. Anesthesists came and told me to check and let me push. Then she checked me and I was fully dilated at 10 CM.
Chelsea claims that despite the baby already showing signs of distress, the midwife instructed a student nurse how to perform an epistemotomy. The student nurse tried twice to cut me, but unsuccessfully until the midwife took over. I know trainees have to learn, but I didn’t feel when my baby was in such distress that it was the right time for a lesson. Medics spent 15 minutes resuscitating baby Oscar after he began breathing, he was transferred to Leistard Royal, where his brain was cooled in an attempt to prevent brain damage. But the day after, doctors warned the parents that he wouldn’t survive.
When Oscar was just five days old, Chelsea and Greg said their goodbyes and life support was withdrawn. We had all our family come and say goodbye the day before. Then it was just myself and Greg saying goodbye. After a beautiful night of cuddles and kisses, we gave Oscar a bath and dressed him in his best clothes. We switched off the life support early in the morning, but he was still breathing.
I instinctively went to give him my milk. I was FaceTiming my mum when I had him latching onto me and she screamed. He’s opening his eyes. It’s like he was begging to live, Chelsea said. After Oscar came home, she had a meeting with the hospital staff.
They admitted mistakes were made and that they should have carried out an emergency Csection. They told me I was entitled to make a claim. Chelsea says it’s been painful realizing Oscar, now 18 months, will not meet the milestones his friends babies are reaching. I was possibly in denial, thinking it may happen, but he can’t keep his head up. He does nothing.
He babbles and smiles, but he also cries a lot and struggles to sleep because of his fits. The 26 year old who is a carer has started a GoFundMe page to help with the cost of caring for Oscar. Both Greg and I are unable to go back to work. Someone needs to be watching Oscar 24 hours a day in case he has a fit. It’s exhausting.
We’re stuck in a tiny one bedroom apartment so can’t have overnight cares. We want to pay for private, regular physio. It’s so limited on the NHS. They pop around once a month or a few months just to see what equipment he needs. We would love to create a sensory room for him in a new place.
Chelsea has unexpectedly fallen pregnant again and is due in January. I’m terrified after what happened with Oscar, but I’ve just got to deal with it. I really feel that my midwife should have listened to me when I said I needed to push. I know my own body. I think it’s awful that we have to fight for compensation for what happened to Oscar.
No amount of money will change what happened, but Oscar now needs full time care for the rest of his life and that will cost a spokesperson for University Hospitals in Leicester NHS Trust said, we’re really sorry to hear that. This is how Chelsea feels about her experience as a team. We have reviewed her case and would be happy to meet with her again to discuss her concerns in person. Have to be calm and patient with them. Then you can get to know your baby.
Some have a baby but don’t know he or she because they’re all for themselves. So the good impact is that the baby is your first son or daughter and a new sibling for your family. They’re cute and are your joy and comfort forever. All babies are different, so it’s no use comparing your baby to others because they have their own ways and their own pace. Best to get them into a routine so it’ll be easier for the baby and you.
God is life, so we all come from God. If you have a baby, it’s a gift from God, so you have to love and cherish all your magic memories with them. You do get tired bringing up children, but as long as you have patience with them it will be easier for you. You must get your sleep and make sure you eat too, so you stay happy and healthy as well. Otherwise you won’t be fit enough to cope.
My understanding is that there is a balance between different types and sources of the biochemistry and psychology that creates bonding. There is a predisposition for bonding strongly with the mother because of amniotic familiarity. The mother’s chemicals are literally in the womb being inhaled and ingested.
Further, the baby hears its mother’s voice every time she speaks, so the sound of her voice is extremely familiar. But if the mother doesn’t continue the process with breastfeeding or close held bottle feeding and lots of physical contact and fairly close facial focusing and talk, the bonding can and will occur with anyone who does these things.
This is how adoptive parents create a very real, deep bonding experience with their babies. This is a critical issue in child development. Very critical. You can research it yourself by looking up attachment theory. There’s so much written about it that it would be pointless to try and give you an outline here.